What made you choose parenthood? Maybe it was expectations of the society, family or spouse. Maybe you were bored with your peaceful life and wanted an adventure of a lifetime. Maybe you thought having a child will solve the problems of your marriage. Maybe you were tired of getting dominated by your parents, in-laws, spouse, and boss and thus you wanted a person of your own to dominate. Or maybe you saw others share an inexplicable loving bond with their child and you wanted to experience the same. Whatever your reason, once you are into parenthood there is no escape! Truth is you will never want to escape, in fact, no matter how stressful it may be the thought of not being a parent will scare you to your ribs.
We want to do the parenting job better than our own parents, we want to give our child everything we did not get, shield them from every pain, and shower them with every opportunity and happiness. We imagine them winning awards we never got, enjoy pleasures we couldn’t enjoy. We try to ensure everything is perfect, we stretch our capacity and yet repeatedly we face that snub from the spouse, our parent, the coach, the class teacher or the worst our own child, claiming we are not doing enough.
After having done absolutely everything in our capacity all too perfectly if we are blamed for our child’s poor behaviour it can be a very disheartening experience for almost anyone. To deal with this tragedy a really effective strategy is to not do anything absolutely or perfectly and not expect perfection from your child either.
You are going to make mistakes, not be able to afford the best, not be there for your child every time the child needs you, not be able to prevent your child’s heart from breaking every single time and it is all okay. You can’t be and you don’t have to be perfect all the time, and yet your child will love you. The child will obey you for a long time in his/her life if you adopt smatter parenting strategies. Don’t let such instances of a child’s poor performance, or a certain unacceptable behavior or other people’s criticisms convince you that your child is a lost cause. A few instances of success or failure are not enough to predict anyone’s future accurately. Forgive yourself and your child for mistakes; aim to be better than before and not better than others. If single parents, laborers, alcoholics are able to raise successful children in the absence of ideal environments then we need to see that to successful parenting is not about perfection it’s largely about being conscious and committed.